The Beauty in Death

The last few weeks have been very emotional in our family. Two weeks ago, my grandma had a stroke. From that point on, she was unable to take any food or water. My aunts and uncles took turns being by her side...I'm not sure there was a moment when Grandma was by herself. Grandma passed away peacefully on Saturday afternoon surrounded by 8 of her 11 children.

I chose to visit my grandma in the last few days of her life...partly because I felt guilty that I hadn't visited her in over a year (she wasn't able to communicate with us anymore) and partly because I wanted to support my dad. I also wanted to be there to provide some closure. It wasn't easy to see a once vibrant woman lying still on her bed with very little sign of life other than the steady breathing. But there was also something beautiful about being surrounded by people who loved Grandma and seeing Grandma's eyes flicker when someone talked to her. Even though she couldn't speak to us, I know that Grandma heard us. And there was a sense of peace around her. I know how much Grandma loved God, and I know that peace came because she knew she would be with Jesus soon.

Today was the funeral for Grandma..and it was very emotional. Although she lived a long, healthy life, it still hurts to lose such an important role model in my life. I grieve for dad - I can't imagine what life would be like without parents around. I grieve for my children...they won't remember the loving, accepting person who helped shape the person I have become. But I loved seeing Grandma's family expressing their love for her...from her sister, to her nieces and nephews, her sons and daughters and her grandchildren. And I loved how you could feel God in the church through the 4-part harmony singing and through the words being read from Grandma's journal. I was moved by the pastor's comments talking about how appropriate it was that Grandma passed away as the dead of winter is giving way to the early blossoms of spring. Knowing how much Grandma loved nature, the timing seems so appropriate, and I will be reminded of her every spring as I see the first crocus peek through the ground.


So what are my memories of Grandma....

A wise woman who loved me unconditionally. She never judged me or asked me to be someone I'm not. She encouraged me in my faith both in words and just the way she lived her life.

I remember a woman who was passionate about gardening and all things about nature. She took the time to teach me about weeding, and had a lot of grace when I accidentally pulled out the plants instead of the weeds.

I remember the twinkle in her eye and her contagious laughter. And her love for life was displayed in all that she did..from her airy whistle in the morning, to her exclamations that "This is the day that the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

The fun times we had playing games, her amazing cooking, cross country skiing in the bush, spending the night and waking up to a hearty breakfast accompanied by a daily dose of cod liver oil, and on and on I could go.

I don't think I ever told my grandma how important she was to me, but I hope she knows how much I loved her. I will miss her dearly.